Am I Wrong for Skipping a $3K Destination Wedding but Taking a Mini Getaway Instead?

One of the bride’s bridesmaids, a long-time friend, had to back out of the destination wedding because she couldn’t afford it. Later, she posted about going to Comic-Con and taking short trips with her husband. The friend is now torn between guilt, sadness, and social pressure. She is not sure if the choices she made make her the bad guy in the story. This situation shows problems we face today with wedding costs, money limits, and friendship demands. It makes us wonder where we should draw the line between our own needs and our loyalty.

The author of the post has a best friend who plans her destination wedding for the pre-Christmas week

Smiling woman holding a glass of champagne during a celebration, highlighting affordable getaway with husband over expensive wedding. — Image credits: Los Muertos Crew / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The author was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but the problem is that it’s $3K a person to go

Woman hugging a pillow, looking upset while reflecting on choosing an affordable getaway over an expensive wedding event. — Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Destination weddings are often advertised as beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime events, but they can cost a lot of money for the people who go. In this case, the expected cost of $3,000 per person during the busy holiday season was too much for a young family that had just spent $50,000 on home repairs and a mortgage refinance to handle. Forbes says that the average cost of going to a vacation wedding is between $1,500 and $5,000, which does not include the cost of child care or travel.

Even though the woman was honest about her situation, she was criticised. Her friend told her she should have been saving $200 a month, which is in line with a growing opinion that everyone should put wedding planning money first, no matter what their situation is. NerdWallet says that budgeting for weddings is usually a good idea, but this might not always be the case, especially with inflation, rising living costs, and family responsibilities.

Woman on bed choosing affordable getaway with husband, looking at phone and wiping tears, facing criticism from bride. — Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The friend’s trip to Comic-Con, which was a surprise one-day trip planned by her husband to cheer her up during a depressing time, made things worse. The bride felt lied to because she saw the trip as not trying to be at her wedding. However, it’s important to note that Comic-Con tickets start at about $66 per day, which makes it very different from a foreign event that lasts several days and costs a lot for hotel and travel.

This shows how disappointing it can be when friends’ expectations are not met. Psychology Today says that stress over money is one of the main reasons why close friends fight. When money, feelings, guilt, and social status all come together, it can cause depression, anger, and lost trust.

It’s important to know the difference between intentional neglect and financial truth from a psychological point of view. An international engagement is not the same as a day trip to a local event, and trying to shame someone into picking one over the other shows more about unmet expectations than bad money management.