Entitled Client Tries to Bully an Engineer — Learns Professionals Can Walk Away

In the construction and renovation industry, clear communication and mutual respect between clients and contractors are essential for a successful project. However, one engineer’s experience with a difficult client—a mother-in-law attempting to dictate terms on her own schedule—became a perfect case study in professional boundaries, client entitlement, and the real cost of delayed renovations in a high-demand market. This story highlights how toxic behavior can backfire, especially when clients underestimate the value of expert labor in a booming housing market.

Having a rude and difficult client can test even the most patient person’s limits

But when that client is being charged a tenth of the usual price, it takes things to a whole new level

This all started with what seemed like an easy favour: an engineer agreed to help with renovations on an older home at a very low cost—only a tenth of the normal rate for engineering services. There were clear warning signs about the project, especially since updating an older building can be hard on the structure, which is a problem that often comes with hidden costs and safety risks (source).

The client’s behaviour got worse very quickly. Even though the engineer’s friend warned about the mother-in-law’s behaviour, things got worse when the client insisted on visits during normal office hours during the week. The engineer, who worked full-time, offered checks on the weekends or in the evenings, which made sense. On the other hand, the mother-in-law argued that the professional should work around her schedule since she was “paying” (at a huge discount). When he said no, she became openly hostile, showing classic signs of toxic client syndrome, a term often used to describe people who don’t value expertise and cross lines (Forbes on client red flags).

Because he couldn’t take any more disrespect, the engineer quit the project, sending a polite but strong email to his friend to let him know. The effects were felt right away. In response, the mother-in-law was shocked that someone would ignore her wishes and said, “That’s not how business is done.”

She was wrong, though.

Professionals have choices in today’s job market, especially in skills that are in high demand, like residential structural engineering, home design consulting, and renovation project management. A steady rise in demand for engineering and building jobs has been seen by the U.S. Bureau of Labour Statistics. This has caused lead times to get longer and project backlogs to get bigger (source). This lesson was hard for the mother-in-law to learn when she tried to find new help.

The family had enough money to hire a full-service company, but they weren’t ready for the real delay: availability. Renovation delays, which happen a lot during busy times, pushed their project back by months. They couldn’t get the appropriate permits or start building without an engineer’s approval. They lost time and the ability to hire skilled tradespeople who were already scheduled for the job because of bad customer behaviour. These workers had their own priorities and would not wait forever.

In the end, the husband called the first engineer and told him that his wife would not be participating. The bridge was already on fire, though. The engineer, who was right to be sceptical, said no. Dealing with a tough client, even one who promised to be hands-off, was too hard on my emotions to risk another round of disrespect.

This story is meant to serve as a warning: expertise can’t be replaced, and connections are more important than lower prices. In a market that’s already full and skilled workers are in high demand, feeling entitled doesn’t get things done; it just delays things, raises costs, and hurts people’s names.

The end result? A rude client learnt that it’s necessary to accept boundaries and value professionals in order to work together well.

“This is exactly how business is conducted”: netizens praised the engineer for standing his ground