Teen Babysits for One Evening — Sister Ghosts Her for 4 Days, Then Flips Out When She Leaves
When her sister leaves her alone with a toddler and a baby and doesn’t come back for four days, an 18-year-old student gets stuck in a scary situation. She agreed to babysit for a few hours while she studied for a test, but she ends up missing important study time, having panic attacks, and calling hospitals out of fear that her sister is dead. But when the sister comes back, unaffected and saying she was “just partying,” the young woman refuses to help again. This makes her feel guilty, gets her family’s back, and makes her question her choice.
This AITA post that went viral shows the painful side of family stress, emotional manipulation, and putting too much pressure on younger brothers when relationships aren’t working right. As people rush to help the stressed-out teen, a deeper talk starts: Where is the line between helping family and being used? When is it more important to take care of your mental health than to keep the peace?
This story on the r/AmItheAsshole thread on Reddit is very emotional and talks about a lot of heavy topics, such as emotional abandonment, parentification, academic pressure, and setting limits for mental health. The OP (original poster), an 18-year-old girl studying for important tests, reluctantly agrees to watch her 26-year-old sister’s two kids, a toddler and a newborn, because she says it will only be for “a few hours.”
But those few hours turn into four days of silence. There are no check-ins. Don’t text. Don’t call. Not even a polite message to say sorry for the delay. As her fear grew, the teen called emergency hotlines and even hospitals to see if the body of a woman who had not been named had been found. This is a disturbingly grim detail that shows how strongly she thought something terrible had occurred.
But nothing had changed. Her sister had been out partying and out of reach, so when she got back, she chose to gaslight the situation. When asked about it, all she could say was “everything is fine” and “you’re being dramatic.” Not only did she not care about the mental pain her younger sister was going through, she told her to shut up so she could sleep off her hangover.
To be clear, this isn’t a case of “oops, I was late.” As a mother and a sister, this is very careless.
Babysitting vs. Parental Abandonment
There is a big difference between having to babysit for a few hours and being made to parent someone else’s child. When you babysit, you take on a short-term duty with clear rules. But what this kid had to go through was basically co-parenting against their will.
She was only 18 years old and had never taken care of a baby before being left with a newborn and a toddler for almost a whole work week without any food prep instructions, emergency contacts, or even a check-in. This wasn’t a mistake. This was parental neglect, and in many places it could be seen as putting a child in danger (source).
Even worse, the OP is going to have a terrible time emotionally. While studying for important tests, she had panic attacks, felt alone, and had severe anxiety. Mental Health America says that this kind of short-term stress, especially during school years, can cause long-term trauma responses like being too alert, having trouble trusting others, and developing chronic stress disorders.
The Trap of Parenting
It’s a classic case of emotional manipulation through parentification when older children (or younger siblings) are made to take on responsibilities that are way beyond their emotional or developmental skills. This is what the sister did. People often say things like, “You’re mature for your age” or “You’re the only one I can trust,” but in fact, it takes away their youth, focus, and personal boundaries.
Even worse, emotional blackmail was used to make this trickery work. The sister cried and begged for help, making herself look like a needy single mother who was in serious need. This makes it even harder to say no without feeling terrible guilt. When the person in question finally said enough, her mother added the standard “enabler” line: “Just one more day.”
This is how loops of bad family relationships keep going. People who are taught as kids to give up on themselves for others often can’t say “no” as adults and have a hard time with stress, people-pleasing, and unhealthy guilt.
Setting limits is not the same as betraying someone.
The OP’s choice to leave and go back to her place was the first thing she did to take back her independence. But even then, she felt bad because her sister said she “broke a promise” to babysit for her brother’s hospital visit on Saturday.
Let’s be clear: any promise made before the four-day leave is not valid.
It wasn’t just a simple misunderstanding. It was an unfair breach of trust. The person in question didn’t leave during a crisis; she left after being ignored, disrespected, and mentally manipulated. Her sister and mother really don’t care about her if they expect her to stay around for more favours after that.
An expert on trauma-informed self-healing, Dr. Nicole LePera, says that having limits is not selfish; it’s a way to protect yourself. When family members keep crossing those lines, the best thing to do is not to bend more, but to take a step back.
Netizens rallied around her and insisted she had every right to leave and prioritize her own well-being and studies—not be guilt-tripped into parental responsibilities
Reddit users mostly agree with the OP and call her NTA (Not the Arsehole). They also call out her sister and mother for being dangerous. A lot of people said that things could have gone very badly—what if the baby had gotten sick? What if the little kid messed up? Is it possible that OP had been hurt?
It doesn’t matter how much someone wants to help, kids need responsible adults to watch them, and teens, even family, aren’t naturally good at that.
For people who feel trapped by family duties in the same way, Out of the FOG and r/raisedbynarcissists provide support and advice on how to end the cycle of mental abuse, especially when it’s done in the name of “helping.”
